Recently, as we went through the process to get Dave discharged from the hospital, the nurse looked at us and said, “They are recommending an OTC drug. I highly recommend you research it before you decide if you should take it.”
I smiled and said, “Don’t worry, I already have, but I really appreciate you saying something.”
It was a glimmer of hope in what had been a mostly frustrating experience with the medical personnel, and it sparked a fabulous conversation. During it, the nurse said something that has sat in my mind and on my heart for over a week. The words were, “A few years ago, I decided no matter what, I was going to make sure people had all the facts and could make an informed decision. I’m willing to risk the repercussions of that because people deserve the truth. Not everyone will be thankful for it, but I know I’ve done what I could to help.”
His straightforward honesty had a huge impact on me. I know fully well that I have become quieter and quieter over the past four years. Oh, I share one on one with a small group of friends, and I’m occasionally no-holds-barred on Twitter. But when it comes to most in-person gatherings, Facebook, or Instagram, I haven’t been sharing my whole authentic self (what I share is real, and not just the good stuff because that’s how I roll, but there is plenty I’ve kept under wraps.) That changes today because, just like the nurse, I believe people deserve the facts, even if they aren’t ready for them.
Oh, and I know it is hospital food, but really, eggshell in my salad did not help that situation.
So what was that OTC med?
A statin. I already knew going in I would encourage my husband to say “no, thank you” if this was pushed. This is a perfect example of having to be your own advocate and knowing how to dig for answers. Doctors prescribe statins every day, and Google will automatically tell you there are no links to mineral deficiencies or dementia. HOWEVER, if you research “myelin sheath”, even that search engine will immediately tell you cholesterol is needed for production of myelin, which protects brain cells and their functions. Statins also cause a CoQ10 deficiency, which the heart needs to function properly.
There are other serious side effects, but I don’t want you to take my word for it. Do a little digging around places like pubmed or nih, searching for statins in conjunction with minerals, the myelin sheath, neuropathy, MS, and more. And I’m certainly not telling you which decision to make. I simply want you to have all the information before you do.
It was a spring day in 1997, and I was sitting at the dining room table in my sorority house, having lunch with about ten sisters. Several of us had come from a history class, and the conversation had spilled over. I don’t remember exactly how we got there, but I very vividly remember the sister who stated, “You can’t be a feminist if you don’t work outside of the home.”
I had a visceral reaction to this statement. I knew right away that I didn’t agree with it, but I was watching as almost everyone around me nodded their heads in agreement or made statements of affirmation. Lunch was wrapping up, and I decided not to speak at that moment because I was still formulating my thoughts.
You see, even as a 20 year old, I believed feminism should be about women choosing what was best for their family, whether that was the mother staying at home or working outside of it. And that week, I decided I never wanted to be referred to as a feminist if that meant criticizing women for wanting to raise their children or even having children, for that matter.
My mother is an intelligent and talented woman. When I was little, she worked in the medical field, and I stayed with either family or sitters. When my sister was born, she chose to stay at home with us. Then, when I was in 7th grade, she went back to school to finish her master’s and went to work full time. She loved her work, and she loved us, and I watched and learned as she and my father juggled two working schedules and two kids who needed different levels of involvement and care.
Fast forward to my husband and I starting a family. I was pregnant with our oldest while studying for my doctoral comprehensives. The university was a two hour commute from where we lived, and my due date fell during the week of orals, so I had to get special permission to move them up one week. My research year followed, so I was home with her, but then I was required to teach two days a week, plus office hours. So I packed my 18 month old up in the car (did I mention I had a two hour commute both ways??), and thankfully, my parents would drive one hour from the other direction, take her while I taught, and then we would spend the night in my childhood home. The next day, we would drive three hours back home so we could both sleep in our own beds.
I realized two things: I very much wanted to stay at home with our child and any future children AND I was tired of teaching other people’s kids, even if they were technically adults. So I stayed at home with her, and our son … and then my husband lost his job when our second child was only 6 months old.
He immediately took on three jobs to make ends meet. I am still in awe of all he was willing to do to keep me at home with him. Meanwhile, I did everything I could to contribute, from couponing to consignment sales, working weekends and selling at farmer’s markets. My parents were also a huge source of support. Looking back, while I wouldn’t wish those times on anyone, we grew so much and even in times of drought, our children benefited from having me home.
A few years later, we added baby #3. I’m still at home, and we added homeschooling to the mix. I learned about affiliate marketing, MLM’s, and creating programs from my strengths. Do I fit the current definition of feminism? Absolutely not, and I wear that as a badge of honor. I don’t want to be part of a group of women who constantly criticize other women. Now, if you are someone helping to redefine things, and you believe a feminist is someone who supports women staying at home, working from home, working outside the home, being an entrepreneur, or a combo of all of the above … I adore you, and feel free to call me whatever you like.
